Juvenal's Third Satire

Warning! I translated parts of Juvenal's Third Satire while taking classes at a local college, but I finished it up on my own. So there's no guarantee that the translations are correct!
1 Quamuis digressu veteris confusus amici laudo tamen, vacuis quod sedem figere Cumis destinet atque unum civem donare Sibyllae. ianua Baiarum est et gratum litus amoeni 5 secessus. ego vel Prochytam praepono Suburae;	Although troubled by the departure of my friend, nevertheless I praise the fact that he would determine to build a retirement home at empty Cumae, and even to grant citizenship to the Sibyl. Cumae is the gateway to Baiae and a welcome shore of charming retreat. I actually prefer Prochyta to the Suburra.
6 nam quid tam miserum, tam solum vidimus, ut non deterius credas horrere incendia, lapsus tectorum adsiduos ac mille pericula saevae urbis et Augusto recitantes mense poetas?	For what have we seen so wretched, so lonely that you might not imagine worse to tremble at the fires, the ceaseless falling of houses, and the thousand dangers of barbarous Rome, and even the poets reciting during the month of August?
10 sed dum tota domus raeda componitur una, substitit ad veteres arcus madidamque Capenam.	But while all his household goods are being placed together in one cart, he stopped at the ancient and wet Porta Capena.
11 hic, ubi nocturnae Numa constituebat amicae	Here, where King Numa used to date his mistress
13 (nunc sacri fontis nemus et delubra locantur Iudaeis, quorum cophinus fenumque supellex; 15 omnis enim populo mercedem pendere iussa est arbor et eiectis mendicat silva Camenis),	(now the sacred fountain, the grove, and the shrine of the nymphs are being rented out to the Jews, whose only furniture is a basket with hay; in fact, every tree has been ordered to pay rent to the country and the exiled beg at the woods of the Muses)
17 in vallem Egeriae descendimus et speluncas dissimiles veris. quanto praesentius esset numen aquis, viridi si margine cluderet undas 20 herba nec ingenuum violarent marmora tofum	we descend into the valley of the nymph Egeria and the no-longer-natural caves. How much more present the spirit would be if grass would enclose the waters with a green border rather than having the natural stone of the caves violated with marble.
21 hic tunc Umbricius 'quando artibus' inquit 'honestis nullus in urbe locus, nulla emolumenta laborum, res hodie minor est here quam fuit atque eadem cras deteret exiguis aliquid, proponimus illuc 25 ire, fatigatas ubi Daedalus exuit alas,	Here, then, Umbritius says since there is no place in Rome for honest occupation, no profits at all from one's labors; today the earnings are smaller than they were yesterday and likewise they will lessen to some degree by little bits, we suggest going in that direction, where Daedalus took off on wearied wing . . .
26 dum nova canities, dum prima et recta senectus, dum superest Lachesi quod torqueat et pedibus me porto meis nullo dextram subeunte bacillo. cedamus patria. vivant Artorius istic 30 et Catulus, maneant qui nigrum in candida vertunt,	While recent gray hairs, while middle age and proper old age, while there still is some of the thread of life left for Lachesis to twist, and I carry myself by my own feet, no supporting cane in my right hand: Let's leave our native land. Artorius and Catulus may live there, they may endure, somehow transform darkest black into dazzling white.
31 quis facile est aedem conducere, flumina, portus, siccandam eluviem, portandum ad busta cadaver, et praebere caput domina venale sub hasta.	It's easy for anyone to rent a room, to hire workers for the rivers which have to be dredged, the harbors which have to be cleared, the flooding that has to be drained, the corpses that must be carried to the tombs, and for anyone to offer their head for sale at auction.
34 quondam hi cornicines et municipalis harenae 35 perpetui comites notaeque per oppida buccae munera nunc edunt et, verso pollice vulgus cum iubet, occidunt populariter; inde reversi conducunt foricas, et cur non omnia? cum sint quales ex humili magna ad fastigia rerum 40 extollit quotiens voluit Fortuna iocari.	At one time these trumpeters with their distinctive cheeks and their perpetual partners of the provincial arena performed through the towns. Now they present their entertainment, and when the rabble decrees—by turning the thumb—they kill to win popularity; then, they return to renting public toilets, and why not everything? Since they may be that sort, from the majestic to the mundane, raising to the heights of circumstances as often as Fortune wishes to crack a joke.
41"Quid Romae faciam? mentiri nescio; librum, si malus est, nequeo laudare et poscere; motus astrorum ignoro; funus promittere patris nec volo nec possum; ranarum viscera numquam 45 inspexi; ferre ad nuptam quae mittit adulter, quae mandat, norunt alii; me nemo ministro fur erit, atque ideo nulli comes exeo tamquam mancus et extinctae corpus non utile dextrae.	What will I do for Rome? I don't know how to be duplicitous; I am unable to praise and ask for a book if it is bad; I am ignorant of astrology; I neither want to nor am I able to promise the death of a father; I've never examined frog innards; others have learned to bear the gifts and messages of the lover to the bride; no one will be a thief through my help and so I depart, no one's companion, as a crippled man, my hands destroyed, my body useless.
49 quis nunc diligitur nisi conscius et cui fervens 50 aestuat occultis animus semperque tacendis?	Who is valued nowadays except one's accomplice, and for whom does the seething mind burn with secrets and forced silences?
51 nil tibi se debere putat, nil conferet umquam, participem qui te secreti fecit honesti carus erit Verri qui Verrem tempore quo vult accusare potest.	A person who has made you a partner in an innocent secret thinks he owes you nothing, and never rewards you. Verres' dearest (most expensive) man will be the one who can accuse Verres whenever he wants.
54 tanti tibi non sit opaci 55 omnis harena Tagi quodque in mare volvitur aurum, ut somno careas ponendaque praemia sumas tristis, et a magno semper timearis amico.	Don't let the sands of the shady Tagus and the gold which it tumbles to the sea, be of such worth that you lose sleep and take for granted the gifts that will have to be put down sorrowfully, and always be a worry for your famous friend.
58 "Quae nunc divitibus gens acceptissima nostris et quos praecipue fugiam, properabo fateri, 60 nec pudor opstabit.	Now I will hasten to declare which people are most pleasing to our rich men, especially those from whom I shall flee, and propriety will not stand in my way.
60 non possum ferre, Quirites, Graecam urbem; quamvis quota potio faecis Achaei?	I cannot endure, Quirites, a Greek Rome; and yet what portion of the dregs of society hails from Greece?
62 iam pridem Syrus in Tiberim defluxit Orontes, et linguam et mores et cum tibicine chordas obliquas nec non gentilia tympana secum 65 vexit et ad circum iussas prostare puellas.	The Syrian Orontes River has long flowed into the Tiber, carrying with it not only the language but also the customs: the flutist, the cross-wise harp-strings, and of course, the native drums; and bringing the girls ordered to prostitute themselves to the racetrack.
66 ite, quibus grata est picta lupa barbara mitra!	(Go, you who have rejoiced with the painted foreign prostitutes wearing their turbans!)
67 rusticus ille tuus sumit trechedipna, Quirine, et ceromatico fert niceteria collo. alta Sicyone, ast hic Amydone relicta, 70 hic Andro, ille Samo, hic Trallibus aut Alabandis Esquilias dictumque petunt a vimine collem, viscera magnarum domuum dominique futuri.	Your country hick dresses himself for dinner in Greek sandals, Quirinus, and wears his wrestling medals on a greasy neck. One left behind lofty Sicyon, another Amydon, others Samos, Tralles, or Alabanda, and all lay claim to the Esquiline and Viminal Hill—the hill named after the osiers—seeking to become the bosom buddies of the owners of the largest houses.
73 ingenium velox, audacia perdita, sermo promptus et Isaeo torrentior: ede quid illum 75 esse putes?	Quick witted, shamelessly impudent, always as ready to talk—and more torrentially—as Isaeus: Tell, what do you think about that man?
75 quemvis hominem secum attulit ad nos: grammaticus rhetor geometres pictor aliptes augur schoenobates medicus magus: omnia novit Graeculus esuriens; in caelum iusseris ibit.	With him he has brought us whatever fellow you want: linguist, orator, mathematician, painter, masseur, seer, tight-rope walker, doctor, sorcerer: this hungry little Greek knows everything; he will go into the heavens should you order it.
79 in summa non Maurus erat neque Sarmata nec Thrax 80 qui sumpsit pinnas, mediis sed natus Athenis.	In fact, the man who grew wings (Daedalus) was neither a Moor, a Sarmatian, nor a Thracian, but one born in the middle of Athens.
81 "Horum ego non fugiam conchylia? me prior ille signabit fultusque toro meliore recumbet, advectus Romam quo pruna et cottona vento? usque adeo nihil est, quod nostra infantia caelum 85 hausit Aventini baca nutrita Sabina?	Can I not escape from these purple-clothed people? Is such a man before me to sign his name lying propped up on a couch better than mine? Does the fact that our infants drew in Aventine air and were raised on the Sabine berry mean absolutely nothing?
86"Quid quod adulandi gens prudentissima laudat sermonem indocti, faciem deformis amici, et longum invalidi collum cervicibus aequat Herculis Antaeum procul a tellure tenentis, 90 miratur vocem angustam, qua deterius nec ille sonat quo mordetur gallina marito?	What about a people so expert in fawning that they praise the talk of the illiterate, the appearance of a deformed friend, and equate the long skinny neck of a weakling with the neck of Hercules holding Antaeus high above the ground, or admire the squeaky voice which sounds no worse than a hen being pecked by the rooster.
92 haec eadem licet et nobis laudare, sed illis creditur. an melior, cum Thaida sustinet aut cum uxorem comoedus agit vel Dorida nullo 95 cultam palliolo?	Likewise, it's all right for us Latins to praise such things, but praise from the Greeks is believed! Is any actor better than a Greek when he plays the part of Thais, or the wife, or perhaps a servant girl dressed only in a tunic?
95 mulier nempe ipsa videtur, non persona, loqui; vacua et plana omnia dicas infra ventriculum et tenui distantia rima.	Why, it seems to be the woman herself speaking, not a masked actor; You'd say all things vacuously and flatly from the place down below that's split by a crack.
98 nec tamen Antiochus nec erit mirabilis illic aut Stratocles aut cum molli Demetrius Haemo 100 natio comoeda est.	Yet neither Antiochus, nor Stratocles, nor Demetrius, nor the effeminate Haemus (famous actors) will be remarkable in Greece because it's a whole country of actors.
100 rides, maiore cachinno concutitur; flet, si lacrimas conspexit amici, nec dolet; igniculum brumae si tempore poscas, accipit endromidem; si dixeris 'aestuo,' sudat.	You smile and the Greek is convulsed with great waves of laughter; he mourns if he sees the tear of a friend—but without sorrow; if you ask for a little fire in wintertime he puts on a cloak; if you were to say, "I'm hot," he sweats.
104 non sumus ergo pares: melior, qui semper et omni 105 nocte dieque potest aliena sumere vultum a facie, iactare manus, laudare paratus, si bene ructavit, si rectum minxit amicus, si trulla inverso crepitum dedit aurea fundo.	Thus we are not equals—he is the better who always, in all things, by day and by night, is able to wear someone else's expression on his face, ready to raise his hands and praise if a friend gives a good belch, or pees in a straight line, or if his gilded cup turned upside down makes a farting noise.
Praeterea sanctum nihil est neque ab inguine tutum, 110 non matrona laris, non filia virgo, neque ipse sponsus levis adhuc, non filius ante pudicus; horum si nihil est, aviam resupinat amici. scire volunt secreta domus atque inde timeri	Moreover, nothing is safe from his lusts, not the lady of the house, not the virgin daughter, nor her still beardless betrothed, not even the previously undefiled son; lacking these, he ravages his friend's grandmother. (They want to know the family's secrets so that they'll be feared.)
114 et quoniam coepit Graecorum mentio, transi gymnasia atque audi facinus maioris abollae.	And now that I have begun talking about the Greeks, go to the schools and you'll hear of a greater crime.
116 Stoicus occidit Baream delator amicum discipulumque senex, ripa nutritus in illa, ad quam Gorgonei delapsa est pinna caballi.	The Stoic Egnatius informed against and murdered Barea, who was not only his friend, but also his pupil; an old fellow raised on the banks of the river where Pegasus dropped one of his feathers (Tarsus).
119 non est Romano cuiquam locus hic, ubi regnat 120 Protogenes aliquis vel Diphilus aut Hermarchus, qui gentis vitio numquam partitur amicum, solus habet.	There is no room for anyone Roman here, where someone like a Protagenes or perhaps a Dilphilus, or a Hermarchus reigns supreme—who through the defect of his race never shares a friend but keeps him only for himself.
122 nam cum facilem stillavit in aurem exiguum de naturae patriaeque veneno, limine summoveor, perierunt tempora longi 125 servitii; nusquam minor est iactura clientis.	Now when he has dripped into a suitable ear a bit of the poison from his own character and country, I am barred from the threshold, my long service forgotten in an instant; nowhere is the throwing away of client (of a patron) of less importance.
126 "Quod porro officium, ne nobis blandiar, aut quod pauperis hic meritum, si curet nocte togatus currere, cum praetor lictorem impellat et ire praecipitem iubeat dudum vigilantibus orbis, 130 ne prior Albinam et Modiam collega salutet?	Furthermore, not that I would flatter Romans, what use are a poor man's favors or kindness here (to a patron) if he has to get up before dawn, running around in his toga, because the praetor is urging the lector to go rushing lest his colleague greet Albina and Modia, the childless old women, before him?
131 divitis hic servo claudit latus ingenuorum filius; alter enim quantum in legione tribuni accipiunt donat Calvinae vel Catienae, ut semel aut iterum super illam palpitet; at tu, 135 cum tibi vestiti facies scorti placet, haeres et dubitas alta Chionen deducere sella.	Here in Rome, the free-born son must yield the wall to the rich man's slave; indeed, the rich man's slave can pay as much as a legionary tribune makes to enjoy a Calvina or a Catiena once or twice, while, when the face of a dressed-up prostitute pleases you, you have to hesitate and calculate to see if you can afford to escort Chione down from her lofty chair.
137 da testem Romae tam sanctum quam fuit hospes numinis Idaei, procedat vel Numa vel qui servavit trepidam flagranti ex aede Minervam 140 protinus ad censum, de moribus ultima fiet quaestio.	Produce a witness here in Rome as inviolable as was the host of the goddess Ida (P. Cornelius Scipio Nasica); let either Numa (pious Roman king) show himself, or the one (L. Caecilius Metellus) who saved a trembling Minerva from the burning shrine, and right away the first question that comes up will be about his income bracket and his moral character.
141 'quot pascit servos? quot possidet agri iugera? quam multa magnaque paropside cenat? '	"How many slaves does he keep?" "How many acres of land does he own?" "How often does he eat desserts, and how impressive are they?"
143 quantum quisque sua nummorum servat in arca, tantum habet et fidei.	His credibility is as great as the amount of money he keeps in his treasure box.
145 et nostrorum aras, contemnere fulmina pauper creditur atque deos dis ignoscentibus ipsis.	We think it's okay for a poor man to swear by the altars of Samothrace or Rome, to regard thunderbolts and even the gods with contempt—for the gods themselves forgive him.
147 "Quid quod materiam praebet causasque iocorum omnibus hic idem, si foeda et scissa lacerna, si toga sordidula est et rupta calceus alter 150 pelle patet, vel si consuto vulnere crassum atque recens linum ostendit non una cicatrix?	Why? Because if his cloak is smelly and torn, if his toga is dirty, and one shoe gapes open where the leather is rent, or if more than one scar reveals where coarse thread has recently sewn up a wound, it's this same poor man who provides everyone with opportunities and material for their jokes.
152 nil habet infelix paupertas durius in se, quam quod ridiculos homines facit.	Of the misfortunes poverty itself causes, none is harder to bear than that it makes men ridiculous.
''exeat,' inquit, 'si pudor est, et de pulvino surgat equestri 155 cuius res legi non sufficit, et sedeant hic lenonum pueri quocumque ex fornice nati; hic plaudat nitidi praeconis filius inter pinnirapi cultos iuvenes iuvenesque lanistae': sic libitum vano, qui nos distinxit, Othoni.	"Let him," he says, "whose wealth is not sufficient for the Knight's Law, kindly rise from his seat of honor and leave. And allow the pimp's children—born is some brothel or other—to sit here; here the son of the well-groomed auctioneer claps between the cultured children of the gladiators and the fencing masters": for thus it pleased Otho who mandated such class distinctions.
160 quis gener hic placuit censu minor atque puellae sarcinulis impar? quis pauper scribitur heres? quando in consilio est aedilibus? agmine facto debuerant olim tenues migrasse Quirites.	What suitor has ever won approval here with an inferior income and a fortune not up to the girl's? What pauper is written in as an heir? When is he available for consultation with the magistrate? Poor Romans should have been herded out of town a long time ago.
"Haut facile emergunt quorum virtutibus opstat 165 res angusta domi, sed Romae durior illis conatus: magno hospitium miserabile, magno servorum ventres, et frugi cenula magno.	It is by no means easy for men to overcome the tight circumstances that hinder their talents at home, but in Rome, the job is harder still: a wretched hovel is exorbitant, food for the bellies of the slaves is excessive, and a little light supper (for yourself) is extravagant.
fictilibus cenare pudet, quod turpe negabis translatus subito ad Marsos mensamque Sabellam 170 contentusque illic Veneto duroque cucullo.	You're ashamed to eat off clay plates, but you wouldn't call it disgraceful if you were suddenly carried away to a Marsian or Sabine table; there you would be content with a coarse blue Venetian cape.
"Pars magna ltaliae est, si verum admittimus, in qua nemo togam sumit nisi mortuus.	There's a large portion of Italy, if we admit the truth, where no one puts on a toga until he's dead.
ipsa dierum festorum herboso colitur si quando theatro maiestas tandemque redit ad pulpita notum 175 exodium, cum personae pallentis hiatum in gremio matris formidat rusticus infans, aequales habitus illic similesque videbis orchestram et populum, clari velamen honoris sufficient tunicae summis aedilibus albae.	Even on holidays, in a weedy theater, dignity is practiced, and at last, the well-known finale returns to the stage, while the country child on his mother's lap fears the gaping mouth of the pale masks. There you'll see everyone appears the same, the high-brow and the hoi polloi; a plain veil and white tunics are enough of a high honor for the magistrates.
180 hic ultra vires habitus nitor, hic aliquid plus quam satis est interdum aliena sumitur arca. commune id vitium est, hic vivimus ambitiosa paupertate omnes. quid te moror? omnia Romae cum pretio. quid das, ut Cossum aliquando salutes, 185 ut te respiciat clauso Veiento labello?	Here we dress in elegance beyond our means. Here, from time to time, we borrow more than enough from another's pocket. Here we all live in pretentious poverty. But why belabor the point? Everything costs in Rome. How much does it cost you to greet Cossus now and then, or to have Veiento, with his pursed lips, notice you?
ille metit barbam, crinem hic deponit amati; plena domus libis venalibus; accipe, et istud fermentum tibi habe: praestare tributa clientes cogimur et cultis augere peculia servis.	That one shaves his beard, this one saves a lock for his loved one. His house is full of cakes for sale. "Take your cake, and keep your ferment to yourself." We clients are obliged to offer tributes and thus enrich the retirement accounts of well-dressed slaves.
190 "Quis timet aut timuit gelida Praeneste ruinam aut positis nemorosa inter iuga Volsiniis aut simplicibus Gabiis aut proni Liburis arce?	Who in cold Palestrina has feared his downfall, or amid the wooded heights of Volsinium, or among the simple Gabinians, or on the steep summit of the Liburians?
nos urbem colimus tenui tibicine fultam magna parte sui; nam sic labentibus obstat 195 vilicus et, veteris rimae cum texit hiatum, securos pendente iubet dormire ruina. vivendum est illic ubi nulla incendia, nulli nocte metus.	We live in a city, the greater part of which is propped up by a puny pillar. For that is how the superintendent bolsters the toppling building, patches the gaping old crack, and tells people to sleep soundly. You ought to live where there are no fires, no fears in the night.
198 iam poscit aquam, iam frivola transfert Vcalegon, tabulata tibi iam tertia fumant 200 tu nescis; nam si gradibus trepidatur ab imis, ultimus ardebit quem tegula sola tuetur a pluvia, molles ubi reddunt ova columbae.	First Ucalegon shouts "Fire!" then he carries out his trifles. Already the 3rd floor smells of smoke, but you haven't heard the alarm sounded from the bottom of the stairs. You who are protected from the rain only by tiles will be the last to burn where the gentle doves lay their eggs.
lectus erat Codro Procula minor, urceoli sex ornamentum abaci nec non et parvulus infra 205 cantharus et recubans sub eodem marmore Chiron, iamque vetus graecos servabat cista libellos et divina opici rodebant carmina mures.	Codrus' bed was too small for (even) Procula the dwarf. His cupboard was equipped with 6 pitchers and a tankard below, and underneath the cupboard was a marble statue of a reclining Chiron. An old wicker basket held his Greek books and lovely poems which the illiterate mice used to gnaw on.
208 nil habuit Codrus, quis enim negat? et tamen illud perdidit infelix totum nihil.	Who can deny that Codrus owned nothing? And yet the unfortunate man lost all of that nothing.
209 ultimus autem 210 aerumnae est cumulus, quod nudum et frusta rogantem nemo cibo, nemo hospitio tectoque iuvabit.	However, the worst of his misery is that the poor man begs in vain: no one will help with food, no one with hospitality, no one with shelter.
"Si magna Asturici cecidit domus, horrida mater, pullati proceres, differt vadimonia praetor. tunc gemimus casus urbis, tunc odimus ignem.	If the great house of Asturia burns, the socialites neglect their hairdo's, the city fathers put on black, the magistrate postpones court. Then we lament the downfall of the city. Then we curse fire.
215 ardet adhuc, et iam accurrit qui marmora donet, conferat inpensas; hic nuda et candida signa, hic aliquid praeclarum Euphranoris et Polycliti, hic Asianorum vetera ornamenta deorum, hic libros dabit et forulos mediamque Minervam, 220 hic modium argenti.	The fire still blazes, and already someone runs up so they can donate marble and other building materials. One brings shining white nude statues, another important works of Euphranor and Polyclitus [sculptors], another antique decorations from the shrines of Asian dieties, another books and bookcases and a figure of Minerva to place between them, another with a bagful of cash.
meliora ac plura reponit Persicus, orborum lautissimus et merito iam suspectus tamquam ipse suas incenderit aedes.	And so Persicus, the most fashionable bachelor, replaces his possessions with even more and better things, and already he's (deservedly) suspected of setting the fire himself.
"Si potes avelli circensibus, optima Sorae aut Fabrateriae domus aut Frusinone paratur 225 quanti nunc tenebras unum conducis in annum. hortulus hic puteusque brevis nec reste movendus in tenuis plantas facili diffunditur haustu.	If you can tear yourself away from the racetrack, an excellent home can be bought in either Sora, or Fabrateria, or Frusino for the amount you now pay to rent a dark place in Rome for one year. And in the country you get a little garden with a shallow well which doesn't need a bucket on a rope to easily draw out the water for your delicate young plants.
vive bidentis amans et culti vilicus horti, unde epulum possis centum dare Pythagoreis. 230 est aliquid, quocumque loco, quocumque recessu unius sese dominum fecisse lacertae.	Live there, lover of your hoe and the tilling, master of a garden from which you may feed a hundred Pythagoreans (vegetarians). It is something in any place, no matter how remote, to lord over a single lizard.
232 "Plurimus hic aeger moritur vigilando (set ipsum languorem peperit cibus inperfectus et haerens ardenti stomacho), nam quae meritoria somnum 235 admittunt? magnis opibus dormitur in urbe.	In Rome, many a sick man dies from lack of sleep, (not to mention the undigested and lingering food in his stomach that produced the illness in the first place) for what cheap room allows sleep? It takes a lot of money to sleep in the city.
236 inde caput morbi. raedarum transitus arto vicorum in flexu et stantis convicia mandrae eripient somnum Druso vitulisque marinis.	and that's the crux of the problem. The passing of the wagons through narrow, winding streets of poor town, and the din of the stalled herds of animals would rob sleep even from a Drusus or a walrus.
si vocat officium, turba cedente vehetur 240 dives et ingenti curret super ora Liburna atque obiter leget aut scribet vel dormiet intus; namque facit somnum clausa lectica fenestra.	If called on social obligations, a rich man is carried along in a great Liburnian litter, the crowd yielding as he sails above their heads. Moreover, he reads on the way, or writes; perhaps he will even fall asleep inside his conveyance. For no doubt the litter, with its closed window, will lull him to sleep.
ante tamen veniet: nobis properantibus opstat unda prior, magno populus premit agmine lumbos 245 qui sequitur; ferit hic cubito, ferit assere duro alter, at hic tignum capiti incutit, ille metretam. pinguia crura luto, planta mox undique magna calcor, et in digito clavus mihi militis haeret.	And just the same, he will arrive before us. The wave that surges in front of us prevents us from hurrying; the huge crowd which follows bears down against our backs. One fellow hits me with an elbow, another with a hard litter pole; the next guy hits me in the head with a wooden beam, and the one after that with a keg. My legs are caked with mud, and soon I'm being trampled on from all sides by big feet and stuck on my toe by a hobnail from a soldier's boot.
"Nonne vides quanto celebretur sportula fumo? 250 centum convivae, sequitur sua quemque culina. Corbulo vix ferret tot vasa ingentia, tot res inpositas capiti, quas recto vertice portat servulus infelix et cursu ventilat ignem.	You see, don't you, how many are gathered by the smoke from a little hand-out basket? And each of these 100 "guests" is accompanied by his own kitchen slave. Corbulo would hardly be able to carry so many heavy dishes, so many things stacked on his head as this poor kitchen slave, who carries it all with his head steady and erect—running to fan the flames.
scinduntur tunicae sartae modo, longa coruscat 255 serraco veniente abies, atque altera pinum plaustra vehunt; nutant alte populoque minantur.	Patched tunics are now torn; a tall fir tree shakes in the heavy wagon that is coming and a second wagon carries a pine tree. They sway to and fro so intensely that the tops threaten the crowd.
nam si procubuit qui saxa Ligustica portat axis et eversum fudit super agmina montem, quid superest de corporibus? quis membra, quis ossa 260 invenit?	For if a wagon carrying Ligurian marble breaks an axle and overturns, and a mountain pours out on top of the crowd, what remains of their bodies? Who can find their limbs, who their bones?
obtritum vulgi perit omne cadaver more animae.	The man's body dies as does his spirit—trampled down by all the masses.
261 domus interea secura patellas iam lavat et bucca foculum excitat et sonat unctis striglibus et pleno componit lintea guto. haec inter pueros varie properantur,	Meanwhile, at home, his family is cheerful; by now they are washing the dishes, blowing on the fire to rouse it, scraping with scrapers, and arranging the linens and the filled flask. Amongst all this the children are hurrying about with their chores.
at ille 265 iam sedet in ripa taetrumque novicius horret porthmea, nec sperat caenosi gurgitis alnum infelix nec habet quem porrigat ore trientem.	But already that newcomer sits on the bank of the River Styx and shivers at the loathsome Charon. The unfortunate man cannot hope for the murky waters' boat since he holds no coin in his mouth to present to the ferryman.
268 Respice nunc alia ac diversa pericula noctis quod spatium tectis sublimibus unde cerebrum 270 testa ferit, quotiens rimosa et curta fenestris vasa cadant, quanto percussum pondere signent et laedant silicem. possis ignavus haberi et subiti casus inprovidus, ad cenam si intestatus eas: adeo tot fata, quot illa 275 nocte patent vigiles te praetereunte fenestrae. ergo optes votumque feras miserabile tecum, ut sint contentae patulas defundere pelves.	And what's more, consider now the nighttime dangers that come from another direction. Notice the distance to the high roofs, from whence a potsherd may strike your head any time someone decides to toss a cracked or broken dish out the window, and how much the impact of these potsherds dent and mar the paving stones with their weight. You may be thought slothful, not anticipating this sudden event, if you go off to dinner without writing your will. Truly, at night as many deaths await you as there are open windows watching for you to pass below. So now you may pray and carry your pitiful offering with you, that they may be content with emptying their basins on you.
278 "Ebrius ac petulans, qui nullum forte cecidit, dat poenas, noctem patitur lugentis amicum 280 Pelidae, cubat in faciem, mox deinde supinus; [ergo non aliter poterit dormire: quibusdam] somnum rixa facit. sed quamvis improbus annis atque mero fervens, cavet hunc, quem coccina laena vitari iubet et comitum longissimus ordo, 285 multum praeterea flammarum et aenea lampas; me, quem luna solet deducere vel breve lumen candelae, cuius dispenso et tempero filum, contemnit.	The drunken and boorish man who—only by chance—hasn't slain anyone, suffers through the night like Achilles bemoaning his friend Patroclus. He lies face down then soon he's face up: some men can only sleep after fighting. And so he will get no sleep. But no matter how weakened with age and reeling from wine, he yields to the man with the scarlet-lined coat whose long line of attendants with flaming bronze torches announces he's a man to be left alone. Me, I'm the one escorted by the moon (or perhaps the little light of a candle whose wick I tend and trim), the one who gets no respect.
288 miserae cognosce prohoemia rixae, si rixa est, ubi tu pulsas, ego vapulo tantum. 290 stat contra starique iubet: parere necesse est;	Learn the pitiful prelude to the fight, if you can call it a fight where you strike, I take such a beating. He stands and orders me to stand against him: I must obey.
291 nam quid agas, cum te furiosus cogat et idem fortior? 'unde venis?', exclamat, 'cuius aceto, cuius conche tumes? quis tecum sectile porrum sutor et elixi vervecis labra comedit? 295 nil mihi respondes? aut dic aut accipe calcem. ede ubi consistas; in qua te quaero proseucha?'	For what are you going to do when compelled by a madman who's stronger than you? "Where did you come from?" he yells. "With whose vinegar and beans are you bulging? What shoemaker's been eating chopped leeks and boiled sheepshead with you? You've got no answer for me? Either say something or I'll kick you with my heel. In which synagogue do I look for you?"
dicere si temptes aliquid tacitusve recedas, tantumdem est: feriunt pariter, vadimonia deinde irati faciunt. libertas pauperis haec est: 300 pulsatus rogat et pugnis concisus adorat ut liceat paucis cum dentibus inde reverti	Whether you try to say something or back off silently it's the same: they hit you either way. And afterwards the bullies take bail money from you. This is the freedom of a poor man: battered and cut up by fists, he begs that he may be permitted to return home with a few of his teeth.
302 "Nec tamen haec tantum metuas. nam qui spoliet te non derit clausis domibus, postquam omnis ubique fixa catenatae siluit compago tabernae. 305 interdum et ferro subitus grassator agit rem; armato quotiens tutae custode tenentur et Pomptina palus et Gallinaria pinus, sic inde huc omnes tamquam ad vivaria currunt.	Yet these may not be the worst things for you to fear. For when the houses are shut, all is secured, and the fastening of the chained shops has grown quiet, there will not fail to be one to rob you. Sometimes, a mugger swiftly comes up with his sword to take care of business; whenever the Pompine marsh and the Gallinarian forest are secured by an armed guard, everyone from there comes here as if to a game preserve.
qua fornace graves, qua non incude catenae? 310 maximus in vinclis ferri modus, ut timeas ne vomer deficiat, ne marrae et sarcula desint. felices proavorum atavos, felicia dicas saecula quae quondam sub regibus atque tribunis viderunt uno contentam carcere Romam.	By what furnace, what anvil, are heavy chains not forged? So great an amount of iron goes into fetters, you might fear there won't be enough plowshares, or that the supply of hoes and weeders will run out. Happy, you would say, were the days of our great-grandfather's fathers; happy was the age when once, under kings and tribunes, our ancestors saw a Rome content with only one jail.
315 "His alias poteram et pluris subnectere causas; sed iumenta vocant et sol inclinat, eundum est; nam mihi commota iam dudum mulio virga adnuit. ergo vale nostri memor, et quotiens te Roma tuo refici properantem reddet Aquino, 320 me quoque ad Helvinam Cererem vestramque Dianam converte a Cumis. saturarum ego, ni pudet illas, auditor gelidos veniam caligatus in agros."	I used to be able to add to these, other—and better— reasons. But the beasts of burden are braying, the sun is about to go down, and the mule driver long ago signaled me with his whip. And so, good-bye, we won't forget each other. Whenever you need a vacation from Rome, and you're hurrying off to your homestead in Aquinum, bring me back also from Cumae to your Helvine Ceres and Diana; I may come up to your frosty fields wearing my heavy boots to listen to your satires—as long as it won't shame them!