Rainy days
by M.M. Lewis, March 2004

        What is it about rainy days that makes me want to turn inward? I feel so much more selfish when the weather is like this. Curling up on the couch with hot chocolate and a good movie is my ideal activity. Or pulling out a favorite book. Earlier I was greatly tempted to grab a blanket and A Wrinkle in Time. I think because of the storm in the beginning, and the hot cocoa Charles Wallace makes.
        Rain has such interesting memories. Why did I phrase it that way? Rain holds memories? Rain evokes memories. There we go. No, “evoke” seems to have more to do with feelings than with memories, though rain reminds me of certain feelings as well. But different kinds of rainy days make me think of past experiences that occurred on similarly rainy days. Today I thought of Katrina. Maybe because she was in my dream last night. The rain took me back to tenth grade, walking home for hot chocolate, blankets, and Runaway Bride.
        Maybe it’s because I remember such things on a day like this that I feel like rain makes me turn inward.
        Or maybe it’s something else. These are the times when I want most to cuddle up to someone. I think the clouds and the wind fill me with a comfortable ache, one painful enough to need someone to hold me, but pleasant enough that I can enjoy being held. A paradox, I know, but what can I say? I love rain.